Usman Riaz: A small look into the mind of a TED performer before and after their Performance
Disclaimer – This is a collection of my actual thoughts before and after my performance. A lot of it is disjointed and may not make a lot of sense. I apologise in advance. But this is the truth. So I hope you enjoy a look into how I felt before and after this performance that changed everything for me and has led to a lot of incredible opportunities. I am very grateful for everything.
“Stay here, you’re on in 5 minutes.”
Amidst all the computer screens and harsh blue lighting back stage, I stood there furiously rubbing my hands trying to keep them warm.
“Why do they always keep these places so cold?” I thought.
I hate it when its cold and I have to perform, the muscles become tense and my fingers feel numb. I need those fingers to play my instrument. I managed to hit my hands enough to make them throb in pain and get blood flowing through them. In retrospect that might not have been the best idea as they were hurting a lot afterwards.
I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be. The noise around me had all filtered out.
It was very quiet. Those 5 minutes before stage time were actually quite peaceful. My mind began thinking about everything that had transpired.
I was very immature and easily excited then. Eager to prove myself to everyone around me. Back then this was what I was waiting for. I was the youngest TED Fellow out of the 2012 batch. At just 20 I was about to perform on the greatest stage I have ever known.
The TED Fellows give their own talks During the main TED Conference on a different stage built specifically for them. I was selected to give a special performance on the TED Mainstage with Preston Reed, the man who pioneered what is dubbed ‘Percussive Guitar’, a style where you slap rhythms, and tap notes and harmonics on the body of the guitar as accompaniment to the melody.
Guitar is not my main instrument. I would call it more of a hobby – my main instrument is the piano and classical music was what I loved, yet I was excited to announce my presence in the TED community with this strange way of playing the guitar. I knew it would grab peoples attention.
My TED Fellows talk went very well, it was inspiring to be around so many talented individuals and share my work with such an intelligent community. But this was the MainStage, an entirely different ballgame.
Preston Reed is a very tall and powerful man with long strands of silver hair, he looked like a wizard. All he needed was a long beard to complete the image – he was certainly a wizard on the guitar.
It was his videos that inspired me to try out those percussive techniques on the guitar in the first place. I had no idea that watching those videos and picking up the guitar would eventually lead me to performing alongside him at TED.
It felt very surreal.
I could see Preston and his wife talking out of the corner of my eye. The loud hum of the computer fans and chatter of all the engineers in charge of all the TED multimedia and lighting was making it difficult to hear exactly what they were talking about. But they looked happy. This was a man who changed how the guitar is played as an instrument and Im sure she was extremely proud to see her husband being honoured for that on the TED stage. He deserved to be there.
So why the heck am I here? I had no clue. I never had any moment of self doubt but it was funny to think about.
Im just a mongrel boy from Pakistan who watched a lot of internet videos (and I mean A LOT!) and then made things he liked. I didn’t have the long heralded career of Preston Reed or create a levitating superconductor (no joke, I saw that TED Talk live).
But maybe I am just a little dumb and don’t dwell on these things.
I began slapping my hands again.
“I think they lowered the temperature even more” said Cat, Preston Reed’s Wife.
I looked over and saw Preston Reed doing the same thing. I laughed to myself and cursed the man controlling the thermostat.
No. Thats wrong. He must be a good man. its not his fault you feel cold, you should put on more weight so that your fat insulates you and your fingers.
The TED stage really looks pretty, I wonder who designed it. I wonder why he picked the blue lights. Blue is my favourite colour. in fact I only wear blue.
Hey they have a piano on stage why can’t I play the piano that would be fun. Focus Usman – you’re not here to play Piano.
Is the Audience clapping? They must have introduced me. Did I tune my guitar? Oh god I hope I did –
“Thats your cue Usman, go!”
I was handed my guitar and pushed on stage.
After the Performance
I blanked out. It was actually quite amazing. I had no recollection of most of the performance. When I was pushed on stage it was as if I was pushed into a small movie theatre with no one there but me and I sat and watched my performance with Preston Reed happen.
Preston Reed and I only had one rehearsal together. But that one rehearsal was so amazing that both of us were excited. I had been vigorously practising to a recording of himself he made for me. Everything had been rehearsed and planned the night before our performance and even then we knew we were about to do something special.
The TED community was thrilled with the audience response. I was just grateful that I survived the performance.
I want to emphasise on what I wrote earlier, I had no recollection of most of the performance. There is one moment that I remember very well. It was after we played a duet on his composition “Ladies Night”. Chris Anderson came on stage and congratulated us! We had rehearsed so much it was thrilling to have everything happen without any problems.
Chris Anderson just asked us to do another piece because they had enjoyed the duet so much.
What?! Why? This is TED! We had nothing prepared! You don’t do that at TED! Do you? I didn’t know, it was my first time.
“We have nothing prepared…” said Preston Reed.
Even HE wasn’t expecting this.
I wanted the ground to swallow me. Preston Reed will be fine – I was about to make a fool of myself in front of this community of scientists, artists, world changers. People who make levitating super conductors.
Great.
I told Preston I would go get my other guitar. I was actually planning on running away and never coming back. I was handed my other guitar before I even got off stage. There was no getting out of this.
Preston Started playing the percussion to his piece ‘Rainmaker’.
This is where I will be completely honest. I had absolutely no idea what I played. None. I felt I was making the most obnoxious noises on my guitar.
But somewhere in those noises music was coming out. Don’t ask me. I don’t know what it was. But it was sounding good.
How? I was in a completely different tuning.
It was truly magical because it was happening by itself.
For the first time I just let go and let the performance happen. And it happened.
The video of this particular performance has 2 million + views on TED.com while my other TED videos have over 3 million. Thats very strange when I think about it. So many people have seen my work. God has been very kind.
Some people have told me that the ending ‘jam’ during our performance was the best part of the entire performance/video. Now while I don’t appreciate them not appreciating the perfectly in-sync guitars in “ladies night” I still understand what they must have enjoyed about that.
It was raw and real.
That TED performance changed my life. I cannot be more Grateful.
-Usman Riaz
Usman, a TED fellow, travelled to the United States from Pakistan in 2013, and is now in his 5th semester at Berklee, majoring in performance and composition.
Find out more about Usman, and his musical and visual art, here:
